DNS Mapping & Domain Transfer Hell

As someone who has been basking in the shadowy aura of techno geeks for the last ten years and spending much of my life as a "translator" between gearheads and business people, I consider myself relatively well versed in certain aspects of certain areas of technology. Alas--someone non-techie has to communicate DNS mapping and other overly complex web-based URL association to the general public in *english*. --aha it's really a techie conspiracy to rule the world forever.